Bumper Stickers

76. I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can always diet (Thank you: Staralfur)
77. I trade: a woman of 40, for two of 20.
78. I used to be cool. Now I drive this minivan.
79. I used to be disgusted. Now I am amused.
80. I was schizophrenic, buy now WE are OK.
81. I'd rather be driving. (Thank you: Sieran)
82. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy - Tom Waits (My occasional imbibing might just be what keeps me sane - Thank you: Staralfur)
83. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving's not for you. (Thought it was funny. - Thank you: Sieran)
84. If drinking and driving are illegal, why do bars have parking lots?
85. If money is the root of all evil, why do Churches beg for it?
86. If sex is a pain in the ass, you are doing it wrong.
87. If the rig is a rockin', someone is having sex. So get your camera out.
88. If this van's rockin', don't bother knockin' (Don't risk committing coitus interuptus - Thank you: Staralfur)
89. If you can read this, you are too close.
90. If you don't like the way I drive, call 1-800-EAT-SHIT
91. If you don't like the way I drive, get out of the sidewalk.
92. If you need a hand, you can find it at the end of your arm.
93. If you smoke after sex, you are doing it the wrong way. (Thank you: Kendrick Bateson)
94. If you think this car is dirty, try a night with the driver.
95. I'm not gay, but I once fucked a bloke who was (Thank you: Staralfur)
96. It was not easy (Thank you: Nuwamanya Alex)
97. It's not fair that only one company makes the board game Monopoly. (Irony - Thank you: Kendrick Bateson)
98. I've cum for your daughter (Thank you: J.T. )
99. Jesus is coming. Look busy.
100. JESUS LOVES YOU - Everybody else thinks you're an asshole (Thank you: DW)

Total: 185